When I was in my final year of high school, I took a preparation course for the TOEFL iBT test. Upon the completion of the course, our Australian teacher hugged each student in the class. Although Vietnamese teenagers are generally open-minded now, I still saw the embarrassment on the cheeks of some classmates. Even I did not feel so natural. However, we understood the teacher's culture, so we were fine with the gesture.
After that, I wanted to try out this culture in my society, of course within reasonable limits. I hugged a close friend when she felt bad about her Math grade. Almost immediately, she stared at me. Maybe she was not familiar with my new expression. I embarrassingly explained to her that the hug was meant to support her emotionally. In order to escape from the awkwardness, I quickly reverted to back to my former self.
However, I observed that the gesture was applied naturally in some special situations. When we are really emotional, we hug one another as an expression of empathy. In my high school graduation ceremony, my classmates cried and hugged me. The graduation ceremony has a special meaning in Vietnam, and I believe it does so in many other countries as well, as it marks a turning point in one's life and the time for separation. Each will begin his own new journey in a city far away from his hometown, or maybe in a foreign country, alone.
hugs and tears in a high school graduation ceremony
When I first came to NUS, I had to adapt to a new environment. There were some evenings I looked out the window finding a bicycle on the street- in Vietnam, students ride bicycles to school- or murmured a favorite song: "Old school days with many dreams, there were many times I wished to pick the stars on the sky. Then when I grew up day by day, friends went far away, these days went far away..." Once there was a bad thing happened to me, I cried alone, suddenly desired a warm hug to energize me. I suddenly realized the meaning of the hug to Asian people. Gestures are sometimes more efficient than words in touching one's heart.
There was once, one of my close friends was faced with a problem. He was a really good student with an awesome CAP. He was about to start his PhD soon after he graduated. One day, the doctor told him that he had signs of cancer and he was shocked tremendously. When I saw him sitting quietly and despairingly, I really wanted to comfort him but did not know how. I was in a state of dilemma and did not know how to respond to this situation. For the Westerners, hugging their friend would be a natural action, but I could not, as I knew he would be surprise if I were to do so. He saw my hesitation and smiled, and began the conversation with me. Finally I comforted him without any hugging. (Fortunately, things are over now. My friend was totally healthy. Thanks, God)
Singapore is also an Asian country. I think the perception of hugging here is generally the same as that in Vietnam, or maybe a little bit more liberal. Actually, the gestures support the feeling expression in many ways but the idea is to apply them flexibly and suitably due to each specific culture and circumstance.
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Thank you Bernard and Shi Ying for the feedback :)
Edited: 14 Oct, 2012
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Thank you Bernard and Shi Ying for the feedback :)
Edited: 14 Oct, 2012
